Ilene shares how motherhood allowed her to pave her own way and find her own voice. Motherhood allowed her to see herself even more clearly and showed her how to gracefully let go of the need for control and surrender to the ebb and flow of raising children with the beautiful intention of love and always choosing kindness.
She passes on her beautiful advice, “You light the candle and let them burn it.” She found true power in loosening her grip and control in how things should be and allowing her children to bloom, grow, and burn. Even though all mothers have concerns, doubts, and worries, when we can have confidence in ourselves, letting go of the “shoulds” – what they should be like, what motherhood should be like, what our children should be like – we can truly see our families and form an expressive connection.
She had the powerful recognition that her three children truly are three different beings with individual needs, thoughts, ideas, and heart spaces and each deserves a connection they crave. She shares her experiences giving her children freedom of expression to be and having confidence in letting go of the little things so that when it’s time for the big talks and lessons, that strong connection is there. They believe in you and you, in turn, truly believe in your own words.
Ilene tells us how she is always learning lessons from her children as each of her children brings out a different beautiful part of her. When we can be humble enough to take those lessons and open to learning from them, we can deeply enhance our own life experience and go through parts of ourselves that we didn’t even realize were still hidden.
Ilene tells us about integrating her spiritual practice into her family letting them see the connection and light that her meditation, yoga, and journaling bring her as well as letting them explore what they connect with, giving them space to bring in their feelings, perception of the world, and opening a forum to explore things they love and create their own practice.
You can listen to Ilene’s full story below as well as read her beautiful words:
“I am a mother of three ‘big kids’. My oldest is riding midway through her first year as a teenager and youngest just became ‘double digits’!! So, to me they are big kids with a shift like the seasons!
All different, all unique and all beat to their own drum. Navigating with my own experience of growing up in the ‘Eighties’, where we lived with a free spirit and abandonment in the fresh air compared to this new world.
And yes, I was that Mom leaving the store with the top bun, sweating and exhausted carrying a crying toddler under my arm, pushing the stroller with the hungry baby and with a loud ‘whisper’ telling my oldest to hold on to my pants for dear life because it’s ‘go time’!!!
Yes, I was that Mom giving my kid the ‘5-second’ rule because I wasn’t in the right mind to fight that battle
And yes, I was that Mom having a full food fight (with cereal) on a snow day to keep it real and playful and unexpected- of course, to then sing the clean up song- together!!
It didn’t start this way- but it became this way…
Real, true and all mine
Cut the cord of comparison!
It’s all relevant and significant…
We choose which way to sway
I went both ways, experienced different realities from the start of motherhood to my last go on that pregnancy Ferris wheel.
Perhaps, we can even tap into the various tunes of childbirth because that is a ride in itself
It was not until I was dramatically misunderstood and misinterpreted, did I begin to understand my own self. Being denied my voice, reason, truth and explanation, I cracked open the silence and let it all out.
Every angle and jagged corner presented me with another limitation placed on my worth. By placing my truth in someone else’s perception of me, I willingly handed over my integrity.
I dove in with courage and began to truly resonate and love myself.
All of me.
I chose to allow my voice to pierce any self-limiting belief in order to raise my own vibration of love and truth.
I love myself just as I am, in the many shades, shapes, and climate.
By having my own back, I have your back, honoring your truth as you ride the wave to discover your own self-love language.”